Dec 18, 2014 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Thank God for You

Recently  a lady sent me this poem.  She had decided she was no longer going to visit a friend who had dementia.  She wrote, “I’d been going for years, my visits no longer meant anything to her – her mind was gone and I wasn’t going to put myself through that anymore.”  Immediately after her decision, someone sent her this poem:

Thank God for You

Thank God for you, good friend of mine.
Seldom is friendship such as thine;
How very much I wish to be
As helpful as you’ve been to me.
Thank God for You!
When I recall from time to time
How you inspired this heart of mine,
I find myself inclined to pray,
God bless my friend this very day.
Thank God for You!
Of many prayer quests, one thou art,
On whom I ask God to impart
Rich blessings from His storehouse rare,
And grant to you His gracious Care.
Thank God for You!
So often, at the throne of grace,
There comes a picture of your face,
And then instinctively I pray,
That God may guide you all the way.
Thank God for You!
Some day I hope with you to stand
Before the throne at God’s right hand.
And say to you at journey end,
Praise God, you’ve been to me a friend.

The friend that sent this to her had no idea of her decision.  She goes on to write, “I think it is that Jesus never gives up on us and it is His example we should follow – Never mind about how we feel.”  This lady continued her visits and wanted me to share this with you.

Thank heavens for the visitors of the many lonely people, many with dementia, that need company.  We learned through our journey that every once in a while the Papaws memories returned and we had some very delightful conversation.

Dec 16, 2014 - Uncategorized    1 Comment

How Soon is to Soon?

I have begun cleaning things I haven’t had time to clean in years.  Last week as I cleaned the baseboards in the hallway, I looked up and noticed a mark halfway up the east side of the hallway.  I raised my damp rag and began to wipe the mark away.  As I looked further, I realized that the mark was fingerprints that went the entire length of the hall.  I realized that these prints belonged to the grandpas.  I called them precious prints when our daughter was small and I realized these prints were just as precious.  The grandpas didn’t like to use their canes or walkers in the house so as they walked down the hall, they ran their hands along the wall balancing themselves.

I stopped the cleaning and began to wonder, should I wipe these prints away? My eye caught what was inside Papaws room and I began to wonder, “How soon is to soon?”  Should I continue the cleaning, should I change Papaws room?  What is the appropriate time frame?  I went through the same thoughts after our son died when he was 2 years old.  Do you change it or do you leave it?  I refuse to close the door and lock in the memories.  I want the memories of Papaw to live on.  We talk about him, we even quote him now, and we love the memories.  But finger prints; should they stay?  I decided to wash away the prints.  Washing away the prints would not erase the grandpas!

The only thing that would erase the grandpas is not speaking of them, not remembering them, not keeping them alive in our hearts.  The finger prints are gone and I have begun the cleaning process of Papaw’s room.  It needs to be painted.  He liked all of his clothes on top of his dresser and I have moved them into the drawers.  That is where they will stay just as Dad’s clothes still hang in his closet.

I realize there is no time frame.  It is different for everyone.  I will slowly move on and clean and change but I can never wash away the memories that will linger on for eternity in this house. Memories that only time will erase but will never be gone from our hearts.

Dec 11, 2014 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

Christmas Lights

Last night we took Mom to look at Christmas lights.  The Papaws loved this activity and we actually turned this into a group activity taking 22 other elderly that don’t drive at night.  I have a CDL drivers license and used the church bus.  This has become a highlight:  looking at Christmas lights and then having dessert.

Last year when we went for ice cream Dad was having a very good day and Papaw was having a very bad day.  Dad kept trying to buy ice cream for Papaw.  Papaw didn’t want any and Dad thought he couldn’t afford it.  They were just always looking out for each other.  But yet I digress:

I have often wondered what the attraction of looking at Christmas lights really is.  Every age group loves them.  Is it the search?  Is it the joy of finding something different?  Is it just the addition of bright to a usually dreary season?

At this season, which is my favorite by the way, it reminds me of the scripture in Matthew 2:2.  “… for we saw his star in the east, …”  Do we have a desire internally to search for the light?    These Christmas lights cannot be hidden.  We saw a beautiful light up version of the city of Bethlehem.  What a wonderful reminder at this time of year of the precious baby Jesus that came into the world. We need to always be in search of “the light”.  Christmas is a wonderful reminder of the “light of the world”. I will continue to drive anyone around looking for Christmas lights as a reminder of the glorious miracle that happened on that very first Christmas so long ago.

Dec 9, 2014 - Uncategorized    No Comments

And So It Goes

My blog has been silent for several weeks.  I had really been thinking about closing down my blog.  The grandpas have passed and I didn’t think I had anything else to say but…..  I have heard from many of you that you want me to continue.  Mom is still living here.  We have started the big grieving process.  This grief is different than any I have experienced.  I actually think I am also experiencing empty nest syndrome which I never had experience.  Our daughter was married and then the grandparents moved in.  So I am going through grief and empty nest at the same time.

So I will continue my blog.  You can walk through life with me on how we will adjust our life and how we will continue to love mom.  We have lots of plans but only God is in change of those plans.  We have no idea where He will lead us.

We are learning how to reconnect;  how to have entire conversations and how to move forward into our next stage of life.  Follow me on as we take baby steps into the future.

Nov 23, 2014 - Uncategorized    No Comments

The Obituary

For 3 years, when I asked Papaw how he was in the morning he would say:  “I don’t know until I see if my name is in the Obituaries.”  Today his name is in the obituary.

Robert “Skeeter” Crane, 95, of Speedway, IN, passed peacefully on November 18, 2014. He was born October 1, 1919 in Bloomington, IN. Robert was a veteran of WWII serving in the US Navy as a flight mechanic in the South Pacific. He was preceded in death by wife Martha “Betty” Shields Crane, parents George and Sadie, brothers Milton, Clifford, Russel, Harold, sister Betty Lovejoy, and grandson Bradley Crane. He is survived by brother Roger of Ellettsville, IN, daughter Johnneva Sue Pagach of Indianapolis, IN, sons Jerry (Pat) of Green Valley AZ, Jim (Rhena) of Brownsburg, IN, Joe (Gail) of Hillsborough, NC, grandchildren Tobi Pagach, Doug Pagach, Jeff Crane, Ashley Crane, Jenna Phillips, Adam Crane, Bethany Lovern, great grandchildren Kristin Pagach, Karis Crane, and Carson Crane. “Skeeter” as he was affectionately known, started as a janitor in order to get his foot in the door at Allison Div. of General Motors on April 17, 1940. He worked his way to a tool and die maker and finished his career as a tool engineer for the 149 Diesel Engine. After a successful 40 years he retired in April 1980. He was a member of Speedway Masonic Lodge #729, Order of Eastern Star, Scottish Rite and Murat Shrine. He was Master of Lodge #729 in 1967. Bob was a member of the Speedway Christian Church where services will be held at a future date. He loved to fish and hunt. In his later years he especially loved to fish in Frostproof, FL with his special fishing buddy Lavonia “Shorty” Duke. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made to Riley Hospital for Children.